Social Media is Not the Place to Solve Disagreements

Social Media Disagreements Wisdom Wednesday Real Estate Small Business Coach Jeremy Williams

Written By: Coach Jeremy Williams

Disagreements don’t get solved on social media. In fact, engaging in disagreement on social media only furthers the gap that already existed between the two parties. In addition, engaging in disagreement only attracts other individuals to the person that carries the same values, thoughts, and belief systems thus creating a larger divide beyond the two that had the disagreement (a my camp and your camp scenario).

Why do I write this? As with everything I write, it reflects a personal experience or shared experience through coaching conversations that is a reminder, and at times, a learning experience.

What is the best way to resolve a disagreement? In my opinion, the best way to resolve a disagreement is to address it with that person directly, not on social media (you’re not changing their mind), and in way that is respectful. Also it is okay to disagree.

If the person is not respectful about your side of the agreement, that’s a blog post for another day.

If You Think You Can, You’re Right

If you think you can or think you can't, youu're right. Henry Ford

Written By: Coach Jeremy Williams

“Whether you think you can or think your can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford

Having 1000’s of hours of coaching conversations over the years, it is amazing the power of the mind. What I hear and see a lot of individuals struggle with is their own thoughts. It is the simple belief of can or can’t that can separate those that are average and those that are great.When you speak into your mind that you can’t do something, you’ve already lost the battle.

I can’t make that phone call.

I can’t have that conversation.

I can’t stick to my schedule.

I can’t…

“I can’t” becomes even more problematic when you add the word “because”.

I can’t make that phone call because I don’t know what to say.

I can’t have that conversation because I believe the outcome will be “x”.

I can’t stick to my schedule because “Coach Jeremy, you don’t understand what’s happening in my world.

“When you think I can’t, you’re right.

Now switch the above to “I can” statements.

I can make that phone call.

I can have that conversation.

I can stick to my schedule.

Notice the shift in your energy when you speak into your mind an “I can” statement. Now make them more powerful with attaching an “I am” statement.

I can make that phone call because I am bringing value to the person on the other end of the line that no one else can provide.

I can have that conversation because I am confident in being able to help my clients solve a program.

I can stick to my schedule because I am organized and efficient in the way I conduct myself.

When you think you can, you’re right.

Make today a day that you switch your thinking to “I can”, and watch the results that come your way. You are powerful. You have the opportunity to shape your mindset to allow you to do powerful things both in life and business.

The 5 Stages of Grief – Acceptance

5 stages of grief acceptance

Written By: Coach Jeremy Williams

Loss is something we all deal with in life. Last week, many Texans had extensive property damage from busting pipes which also led to the loss of irreplaceable family heirlooms, there is the loss of loved ones, broken relationships, financial challenges, and much more. Understanding the stages provides knowledge, and applied knowledge is power. This week we’ve walked through the 5 Stages of Grief including Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally today is Acceptance.

Acceptance doesn’t mean the pain automatically goes away. Acceptance means that at last we’re at a point of acknowledging the reality of the loss/challenge. In this stage of the grieving process, we’ve made the conscious decision to no longer make the loss something different than it actually is to us.

Sadness and regret may continue to be present, yet not at the expense of denial, anger, bargaining, and depression. This is not to say remnants from these stages may not linger, yet they will begin to fade and be less prominent.

Know that everyone walks through these stages differently. Some will sink deeper into one stage and breeze past another. Some may move through a stage, and then revert back to a previous stage. Understanding the stages can help in dealing with our emotions, and know that you don’t have to do it alone, and in some cases, professional help should be sought. (By the way, seeking help is a sign of strength and not weakness.)

I trust that walking through these stages over the course of the week has helped someone. If you know someone that might need this information, this series of posts are on my blog at redhawkcoaching.com. If you do need help, here is a resource.

The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, part of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, can assist you with a treatment referral and provide you with contact information for local services. Contact 1-800-662-4357. They are available 24/7, 365 days a year.

Read the 1st of the 5 Stages of Grief – Denial

Read the 2nd of the 5 Stages of Grief – Anger

Read the 3rd of the 5 Stages of Grief – Bargaining

Read the 4th of the 5 Stages of Grief – Depression

The 5 Stages of Grief – Depression

5 Stages of Grief Depression

Written By: Coach Jeremy Williams

In my last post, we looked at the third Stage of Grief; Bargaining. Today we look at Depression.

Depression is the point at which we begin to understand the reality of the loss. Bargaining no longer provides a sense of control over the situation, and now reality sets in.

In this stage, the loss we experienced can create amplified emotions. The fog of the loss that was created in the first 3 stages begins to subside, and the feeling of loss rises to the surface. The loss is a reality, and in this stage we’ve come to realize that we can no longer avoid the reality.

Like bargaining, we shift our thinking inward, and the feeling of sadness becomes more prevalent. In these situations, we may remove ourselves from social situations, and will close ourselves off to those we love and trust. Though this is a natural progression, depression is isolating.

If you find yourself in this stage, you’re not alone. Seek help. If you’re unaware of local resources in your area, reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, part of the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, and they can assist you with a treatment referral and provide you with contact information for local services. Contact 1-800-662-4357. They are available 24/7, 365 days a year.

Tomorrow will focus on the final stage of Acceptance.

Read the 1st of the 5 Stages of Grief – Denial

Read the 2nd of the 5 Stages of Grief – Anger

Read the 3rd of the 5 Stages of Grief – Bargaining

The 5 Stages of Grief – Bargaining

5 Stages of Grief Bargaining

Written By: Coach Jeremy Williams

I’ve addressed the first 2 stages of the 5 Stages of Grief, Denial and Anger in earlier posts, today we move into the 3rd Stage of Grief; Bargaining.

When dealing with a loss whether it was property damage from the Texas storm, a loved one, going separate ways after a longtime friend, or any other challenge life throws our way, goal number one is to minimize the pain that comes from that loss. Dealing with a loss can cause us to look for alternative solutions to cope and avoid the pain. Bargaining is typically calling on a higher power, or calling upon something bigger that can change the outcome of the perceived loss. Listening to our gut, a realization sets in that more than likely there is nothing that will change the outcome for the better. That small, still voice in our head reminds us of the reality.

That feeling of not being able to influence the outcome to our benefit leads to bargaining, and bargaining gives a sense of control over the situation. Bargaining turns us looking inward at our own personal contribution to the situation and/or regrets. We start looking at the roadmap of the relationship with someone or the situation being faced with that is a challenge. Questions like the following may begin to form in your head.

Why did I lose touch with this individual over the years?

Why was I not prepared like I should have been to protect my property and family from a situation?

Haven’t you heard or personally experienced bargaining like “God if only XXXXXX, I will turn my life around.”

In this stage, we will recall situations in which we’ve maybe not been the nicest person, or we’ve taken an action that led to hurting someone else; even if it was completely unintentional. We wish we had that magic time machine to go back and create a better outcome. We begin to form absurd assumptions that if something happened differently in the past, we would not be experiencing the pain of today.

Tomorrow and Friday, we will wrap up with a note on Depression and finally Acceptance. If you’re finding yourself dealing with any of these stages, know you’re not alone, and be okay with asking for professional help.

Read the 1st of the 5 Stages of Grief – Denial

Read the 2nd of the 5 Stages of Grief – Anger

The 5 Stages of Grief – Anger

Written By: Coach Jeremy Williams

Yesterday, I focused on Denial which acts as a mechanism to handle and absorb what we are experiencing in our lives. Today I will dive into the next stage of the 5 Stages of Grief; Anger.

This last week in Texas, many individuals lost personal property from the damage created by the storm. Some of the damage is repairable, while others lost personal effects that can never be replaced. Whether it is going through an experience of property loss, loss of a loved one, divorce, or some other challenge, it is common to experience anger. This is not an abnormal emotion. Experiencing the anger is simply a process that is experienced to help adjust to a new reality. Anytime you have a change in reality it can create discomfort and trigger a pain point. The emotion of anger is an outlet to the feelings we have inside, and it can be relatable to a teapot releasing steam.

Anger doesn’t require vulnerability, and socially anger is generally accepted over admitting to having fear or being weak. Anger is simply an expression of a bottled up emotion that those who witness often refrain from judgement or rejection. Anger can create the internal feeling of being isolated from the world, and others may be cautious in your presence, which can fuel the isolation in a time when comfort and reassurance is needed. (Side Note: If you have the experience of being in the presence of somebody that is angry, it may be a cry out for help.)

Don’t dismiss the emotion of anger. It is natural and part of the process of dealing with loss. For those dealing with loss, know you’re not alone, and know that it is okay experiencing anger; you just can’t stay there. Tomorrow I will dive into bargaining.

Read the 1st of the 5 Stages of Grief – Denial

The 5 Stages of Grief – Denial

5 Stages of Grief Denial

Written By: Coach Jeremy Williams

This week I will tackle the five stages of grief, and how learning about our emotions can help us deal with difficult challenges in our lives. While this can apply to losing a loved one, it can also be applicable to losses that individuals experienced this last week in Texas. I trust this may help someone that is reading this today and in the week to come. I will preface that I am not a psychologist, and I’ve been studying human thoughts and behaviors since 2010 as a coach. The 5 Stages of Grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Today we dive into denial.

Denial is a copying mechanism that helps us endure the pain that is attributed to a loss or challenge in our lives. Denial can assist us in the process of facing a reality, and it can help with dealing with the emotional side effects that can be attributed to a loss or challenge. It can be difficult when things seem to be hitting on all cylinders, and bam, something happens that removes us from our typical norms; the loss of a loved one, divorce, frozen and busted pipes creating extensive property damage.

When we lose something that is important to us, our reality will shift. This shift in mindset may require time for us to make an adjustment to the new reality. We spend time reflecting on the experiences of what we’ve lost, and we wonder how to move forward without.

The thoughts that flood our head can be a lot to process, and it can be painful. Denial acts as a braking mechanism to slow us down so we can walk through the steps one at a time. This slowing down process also keeps us from being emotionally overwhelmed.

Denial is the mind’s way of pretending that the loss/new reality doesn’t exist. It also allows us to handle and absorb what we are experiencing. Tomorrow we will look at the next step of the Five Stages of Grief; Anger.

Effort Counts Twice – A Gritty Conversation JPW Business Consulting LLC

Written By: Coach Jeremy Williams

I went back to read Angela Duckworth’s, GRIT The Power of Passion and Perseverance on the topic of EFFORT. I agree with Angela that effort must be accounted for twice in our life as we move towards achievement/mastery. The formula is simple:

Talent x Effort = Skill

Skill x Effort = Achievement

See those that reach talent don’t reach achievement/mastery on talent or skill alone. People reach achievement/mastery only when effort is applied not once, and applied twice in the equation.

So let’s look at this in action in the life of a chef. The chef may have some natural talent and schooling to create an edible dish. At the beginning, this requires an intense amount of effort to craft the skills needed to create dishes that will attract new clients to the restaurant. If the chef stops here, he/she would fail. Having the skill alone will not set them on a path of achievement. The chef, now having a skill, needs to reapply effort to the equation, in other words, refine/perfect their craft. Now the chef is aligning their actions and path to achievement/mastery through effort.

Work takes grit. How gritty are you? Are you applying effort twice? Take this in consideration as you work both on and in your business this day. Learn more about the coaching opportunities I offer to guide you on a path to achievement/mastery.

How Much Time Do You Have to Reach Your 2018 Personal and Business Goals

Written By: Coach Jeremy Williams

I stepped into my office this morning ready to engage with my coaching clients when I realized we were starting a new month. Folks it is already August which means you have this much time left to achieve or crush your goals:

  • 153 Days
  • 13,219,200 Seconds
  • 220,320 Minutes
  • 3,762 Hours
  • 21 Weeks and 6 Days
  • 41.92% of the Year Left

As a coach, I would like you to take a moment to work on your business instead of in your business. Slow down for just a minute to evaluate the following by asking yourself:

  1. Where am I at today in relation to my annual goals?
  2. What activities do I need to be engaging in at this point in the year to achieve or surpass my goals?
  3. What is creating interference in my life and business to hinder the achievement of my goals?
  4. What will I be willing to change to overcome the interference?
  5. Who is supporting me in my efforts?
  6. Who am I sharing with to create accountability beyond myself?
  7. If I’m off goal, how should I readjust accordingly?
  8. Do I find myself comfortable and not working with intention?
  9. If I am not being intentional, what was the initial passion that got me started in this business? Go back and visit.
  10. Who can coach me through all these questions and set me on the right path? Answer: Jeremy Williams with Red Hawk Coaching.

Now that you’ve answered these questions, go forth, be productive, and finish the year strong. The countdown for 2019 has begun!

Learn more about coaching opportunities for real estate agents and small businesses offered by Jeremy Williams.

My Thoughts on Real Estate Brokers

Written By: Coach Jeremy Williams

I was asked a couple of days ago my thoughts on real estate Brokers in the quickly changing industry. When I think about my experiences growing up in the small town of San Marcos, Texas, the local C21 real estate brokerage might of only had a hand full of agents, and the broker of record was in deep relationship with his agents. In today’s world of scaling, real estate brokerages can now exceed 100’s and even 1000’s of agents under a single broker license. With the broker being ultimately responsible for the licensed sales people under the license, the question is how dealing with these types of numbers.

Watch my video to learn more personal thoughts, and what I believe the licensed sales person’s responsibility is to address this matter.

Change Your Business and Life by Hiring Jeremy Williams as a Coach Today

Are you needing to get clarity in your business? Do you feel like you’re all over the place and lack focus and direction? This is exactly why you should consider hiring a business coach to provide you direction and different perspectives on your approach to building a successful business. Learn more about the one-on-one coaching opportunity offered to small businesses (include real estate agents), and group coaching specifically designed for real estate agents at Red Hawk Coaching.

Author: Jeremy Williams is the Owner/CEO of Red Hawk Coaching, a business of JPW Business Consulting LLC. For more information about coaching opportunities with Red Hawk Coaching, visit www.RedHawkCoaching.com.